someone get that fucking seahorse.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
