Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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