is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
