3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
