Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
