Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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