Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
