I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
