omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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