i permit you to call me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
