my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize