is your mom at the bar?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Randomize
