But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
