At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
