Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
