he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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