Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
