I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
