Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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