that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
