did you get engaged???
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
