Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
handjob tips. give me some.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
