Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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