hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
