i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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