doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
