I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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