Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
