Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
