but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
