Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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