theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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