weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
