another moral hangover. fuck.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
