Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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