No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
