I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The air taste purple.
Randomize
