If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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