Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
