I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
