you would pick up someone in the library
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
