I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
