Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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