McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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