where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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