He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
