wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
