Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize