I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
