And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
babies were throwing up all over the place
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
