AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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