Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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